Love has been defined in many ways. The religious describe is a self-sacrificial, while the psychologist define it with commitment. Commitment is how I would rather describe love, as commitment is about relationship and relationship is about healthy self and other identities. Otherwise, self-sacrifice will describe love by power, which is self-serving to one (even altruistic goals and purposes) and self annihlation to the other.
I believe that healthy relationships are mutual. If there is no mutuality because of a lack of trust, for whatever reason, then there is social contract, or treaty that defines what the behavior is to be toward the other. These treaties, or social contracts define the terms of the relationship, thus protecting each partie's rights and legally binding the other to faithfulness to contract.
In Christian terms, as in some ancient cultures and tribal cultures, covenant is a useful term. This term is a "blood term", as tribal mentalities are not based on an understanding of even-handed exchange, but a limitation of "tribalistic" blood-shedding. These understanding take life and disregard respect for boundary markers and proper behavior, which is defined by "law".
Love must be defined in individual terms, as there is no other way to love, really. That is, if we believe that the individual is made unique and valuable in their own right, apart from any usefulness or purpose of a group, whether religious, tribal or organizational structure...
Love really sees the other, respects the other, as different, and responds to the other's need(s). This is what Christianity should be about, not tribalism as defined by ancient understandings of covenant and blood sacrifices...
Faith should be about freedom of life and personal purpose, as all of life is gifted by grace and love. It is entering into the "rest" that is meant to bring peace of heart and life, because one feels he has found "home" and that home is what he, himself, was all along. It is true self-acceptance, so it is not about performing, and perfection, but about "rest".
Job found this to be true, as he understood while those around him were judging his every action, and he felt "justified" in conscience, that grace is really what life is about....grace means that God exists beyond our comprehension of him, but that by our gratefulness for our lives, he becomes more meaningful, as life is graced...and gifted...and important...
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