Yesterday, in one of the blogs I follow, the person questioned his own 'commitment to writing' on his blog site, as his other responsibilities were suffering. Anyone's questioning themselves challenges me to question myself, as I often do, anyway.
His question whether his family responsibility suffered was one I pondered. His reflections, and output on his blog has affected many more people than he could as he put it 'before an empty Word window...I thought about the movie, "Chariots of Fire". The main character of the movie was a runner and he felt God's affirmation whenever he ran. I think desire is like that when it is directed in the right direction. Writing gives me a sense of "release". I enjoy expressing myself in writing, thinking of ways to "put things". Sometimes writing is just a journaling adventure for me, a thinking out loud. It helps me to organize, as I am not by nature an organized person.
I have often been told that I make no sense. And I wonder if this is because I can't organize my thoughts, have too little information, am uneducated, assume the other knows more than they do, or jump around too often, connect too many ideas that really are not connected, or What? possibly it is all of these. But, I think that my writing on this blog is a step forward for me. Whenever I have gotten negative feed-back, which has been most of the feed-back I have gotten, I continue. I am not discouraged, because I am doing this out of my heart and desire. People do not have to read my blog, if they are offended and my not being discouraged, is a positive step forward, because I am not dependent on feed-back. I am doing this because I want ot do it and I enjoy it.
Some may find fault with my writing, as if it is not benefitting someone else, then is it selfish? Does any thing that someone does have to have a benefit for another? Is the excercise of one's mind in thinking and writing of any benefit for the individual doing it? Doesn't a runner have to practice to become the best? Is the runner's practice selfish because it doesn't benefit someone else? I find that some conservative radical believers think that everything has to be purposed toward God, as if God "needs them". God's glory, just is and it need recognition, I think, more than seeking to implement God's glory on another.