This morning a friend posted this statement on FB, "Today, some folks have to worry about running a country or keeping a multi-billion dollar business afloat. I just have to find a pink cowgirl hat."
My mind immediately tried to connect the three aspects together, which is a usual for me, as all of us try to understand what another person means by what they say or write. As the statement was meant not to CONNECT these three, but distinguish these three, I had made a categorical error in my evaluation about the meaning of the statement! She was making a comment about her grand-daughter's preferences and how she would meet those desires and how she didn't have the responsibility to oversee a government or business. And this was her emphasis about finding a Pink cowgirl hat!
When I came around to correcting myself, by reading the other comments, we "talked" about our color preferences as children, as not all girls like Pink as little girls. I preferred Red, while my friend emphasized her like for shiny things, not the usual doll. She focused on the tangible toy, while I focused on the abstract color preference.
Some people continue to love the color they loved as children, and the color defines them, while others change their preferences. I think I have come to love all colors, and the colors I've particularly been drawn to at a point in time have represented aspects of my emotional values.
Red was the color of choice as a little girl. It stood for vibrancy and life. But, when I grew toward puberty, I preferred orange. Orange is red with yellow added. Yellow produces anxiety and energy. Both expressed my entrance into puberty. When I got into the real world of dating, I preferred Green, which is yellow plus blue. Blue was the cool and calm comfort with the contrasting mix of anxiety and energy. I was attempting to find love through my college years and it represented what I sought and the effect it had on me.
When asked what my favorite color is today, I find it really hard to decide! I think it is because life has so many expressions and experiences that can't be contained in one color! That is how I "see" and understand things in my life! I just know that in decorating I love contrast! I love to see the differences and distinctions of color! And I prefer for those distinctions to play off of each other! That makes life exciting and diverse and not the drab, colorless world of beiges.
Greys are different from beiges as they combine a negative and postive, but beiges combine black with yellow and dilute it with white. Blah. Therefore, grey has become a color I enjoy.
What do colors mean and how have you come to understand them in your life, whether their emotional impact, and meaning or your decorative choice and value?
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
"Who I Am"
"Who I Am" has new meaning this morning after yesterday's park visit with my grandaughter.
"Who I Am" has meant for me in the past; "fallen", "saved by grace", "hopeless apart from Christ", "a mistake", "a product of divorce", "a wife", "a mother" and the many other temporary roles that have been mine thoroughout my life.
Science is bringing us new information all the time about our physical world, and now, I am understanding more and more how the physical world impacts "Who I Am".
Yesterday, my grandaughter had asked an important person in her life to go to the park with her. After a little while, I also went to the park to visit and watch the kids play. But, to my dismay, my grandaughter and her cousin had a "conflict of interest", and came running up to us. Hannah was distraught, but before she reached the park bench where we were sitting, Hannah's cousin had given 'her side of the story".
Without even hearing Hannah's side, this "idolized adult" stroked the hair of the cousin and reprimanded Hannah over the other child's percieved exclusion. Hannah was absolutely devastated, for when she would try to "tell her side", she was told she could not be understood unless she calmed down. All the while, she was being excluded from telling "her side of the story". She perceived the situation as "shaming" to her "person", as Hannah has an honest nature and this was not being affirmed.
When I tried to get Hannah's side, this adult reprimanded me, by saying that Hannah had no business excluding her cousin. Hannah kept saying how she was only trying to "make a new friend", that "cousins were not friends", and that her cousin had pinched her.
In her little mind, categories had not expanded to include different roles. Though she has played with her cousin since birth, her "social side" wanted to expand and befriend the strangers around her. She is an extrovert, this is "who she is". The more she kept defending herself and her desire to make "a new friend", the more this adult kept telling her it was unkind to exclude others and not to get "so hysterical". I was mortified, as I didn't know how to defend Hannah, except to try to help Hannah see an expansion to her categories of "cousin" and "friend", but Hannah perceived my attempt to expand her categories as "shaming". This was never my intent, and it reminded me of the time I tried to give different names to those she loved, when she was only three. Her immaturity was by no means "sinful".
What could have been only a minor incidence of childhood "trauma", had become a major "message" to Hannah's "person". I don't want my grandaughter to think or feel as if "who she is" is "bad innately" and she is in a social environment that will suggest this ego "framing" for her.
On the way back from the park, her Opa attempted to walk along side of her, but she kept telling him that "no one loved her", except her Mommy and Daddy and she didn't want to walk with him, an unusual response from her. She only wanted her Daddy to "come get her". So, her Opa called her Daddy to walk with her back to our house. This suggested to me, that she had internalized a lot of the "guilt" and responsibility for the situation. It is called "shame" and it is an "internal message" about "Who I Am".
Hannah felt betrayed by most everyone that she had loved and trusted in this minor childhood "trauma", because her innate extrovertedness was percieved as "sinful" for excluding another, while her cousin's "sin" of pinching was never addressed.
My daughter has expressed her desire to reconsider how she is approaching Hannah's childishness and I am glad. Hannah is the oldest child and has already taken the "back seat' to her brother's physical problems, and her younger sister's "immediate needs". Hannah's immediate family has been "dysfunctional" in her mind, as her Daddy has been gone every week since March to the "Police Academy". Since she is going into kindergarten, it is important for Hannah to feel confident about "who she is", supported by her whole family, not shamed and demoralized.
All parents have these "encounters" with childishness, but religious ones exasperate the problems by labelling "what is normal" as "sinful". "The Cosmos" (or "God") is displeased with the chld's normal tendencies. Instead of approaching childishness as a stage of immaturity and seeking to guide and reorient the child,; the child is "scared, shamed, and scarred" by messages of "immense importance". The child's needs are minimized, while the "Cosmic God" is immortalized and idolized, by such "child sacrifice"!
I am no child psychologist, but I am a grandparent that has "lived and learned" and loves her grandaughter. My grandaughter should never be "shamed" into submission or obedience. She should obey with the knowledge that doing so, only brings her own happiness, not some "God". Love should be understood and experienced as desiring the best for "Who I Am" apart from any "God". This is what I hope my grandaughter come to know and understand.
"Who I Am" has meant for me in the past; "fallen", "saved by grace", "hopeless apart from Christ", "a mistake", "a product of divorce", "a wife", "a mother" and the many other temporary roles that have been mine thoroughout my life.
Science is bringing us new information all the time about our physical world, and now, I am understanding more and more how the physical world impacts "Who I Am".
Yesterday, my grandaughter had asked an important person in her life to go to the park with her. After a little while, I also went to the park to visit and watch the kids play. But, to my dismay, my grandaughter and her cousin had a "conflict of interest", and came running up to us. Hannah was distraught, but before she reached the park bench where we were sitting, Hannah's cousin had given 'her side of the story".
Without even hearing Hannah's side, this "idolized adult" stroked the hair of the cousin and reprimanded Hannah over the other child's percieved exclusion. Hannah was absolutely devastated, for when she would try to "tell her side", she was told she could not be understood unless she calmed down. All the while, she was being excluded from telling "her side of the story". She perceived the situation as "shaming" to her "person", as Hannah has an honest nature and this was not being affirmed.
When I tried to get Hannah's side, this adult reprimanded me, by saying that Hannah had no business excluding her cousin. Hannah kept saying how she was only trying to "make a new friend", that "cousins were not friends", and that her cousin had pinched her.
In her little mind, categories had not expanded to include different roles. Though she has played with her cousin since birth, her "social side" wanted to expand and befriend the strangers around her. She is an extrovert, this is "who she is". The more she kept defending herself and her desire to make "a new friend", the more this adult kept telling her it was unkind to exclude others and not to get "so hysterical". I was mortified, as I didn't know how to defend Hannah, except to try to help Hannah see an expansion to her categories of "cousin" and "friend", but Hannah perceived my attempt to expand her categories as "shaming". This was never my intent, and it reminded me of the time I tried to give different names to those she loved, when she was only three. Her immaturity was by no means "sinful".
What could have been only a minor incidence of childhood "trauma", had become a major "message" to Hannah's "person". I don't want my grandaughter to think or feel as if "who she is" is "bad innately" and she is in a social environment that will suggest this ego "framing" for her.
On the way back from the park, her Opa attempted to walk along side of her, but she kept telling him that "no one loved her", except her Mommy and Daddy and she didn't want to walk with him, an unusual response from her. She only wanted her Daddy to "come get her". So, her Opa called her Daddy to walk with her back to our house. This suggested to me, that she had internalized a lot of the "guilt" and responsibility for the situation. It is called "shame" and it is an "internal message" about "Who I Am".
Hannah felt betrayed by most everyone that she had loved and trusted in this minor childhood "trauma", because her innate extrovertedness was percieved as "sinful" for excluding another, while her cousin's "sin" of pinching was never addressed.
My daughter has expressed her desire to reconsider how she is approaching Hannah's childishness and I am glad. Hannah is the oldest child and has already taken the "back seat' to her brother's physical problems, and her younger sister's "immediate needs". Hannah's immediate family has been "dysfunctional" in her mind, as her Daddy has been gone every week since March to the "Police Academy". Since she is going into kindergarten, it is important for Hannah to feel confident about "who she is", supported by her whole family, not shamed and demoralized.
All parents have these "encounters" with childishness, but religious ones exasperate the problems by labelling "what is normal" as "sinful". "The Cosmos" (or "God") is displeased with the chld's normal tendencies. Instead of approaching childishness as a stage of immaturity and seeking to guide and reorient the child,; the child is "scared, shamed, and scarred" by messages of "immense importance". The child's needs are minimized, while the "Cosmic God" is immortalized and idolized, by such "child sacrifice"!
I am no child psychologist, but I am a grandparent that has "lived and learned" and loves her grandaughter. My grandaughter should never be "shamed" into submission or obedience. She should obey with the knowledge that doing so, only brings her own happiness, not some "God". Love should be understood and experienced as desiring the best for "Who I Am" apart from any "God". This is what I hope my grandaughter come to know and understand.
Monday, March 14, 2011
"Reality" in the Movie, "The Unknown"
I have recommended the movie, "The Unknown", because of its excellent direction. The movie keeps one spellbound. It captures the audience's attention and emotion, when "Martin"s memory is partially impaired.
Humans live from memory. We learn our language and remember the right words to even communicate with others when we grow up. What if we couldn't remember our words? This was not the case in "The Unknown", as his memory of important emotional facts was intact, but some of the other facts were forgotten due to an accident. Due to the "missing links", he is living in "limbo" land, not able to understand many things happening to him. How does he interpret them?
Whenever humans don't have a grasp on reality, such that they can find security, they find themselves anxious. Anxiety is the state of "not knowing", or fearing that which "might come". Why would this anxiety have any hold on a human being? When experiences continue to confound and there is no rationale for what is happening, humans become anxious about their futures. A "state of peace" or psychologial security is the result of learning about "cause and effects". Behaviors are conditioned by "causes and effects". But, "sometimes the "causes and effects" are not straightforward "laws of nature". These have damaging effects on the psyche. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder could be the result and might have a disorienting effect on the personality.
Humans must have some sense of control about thier life to maintain a sense of dignity and personal orientation about "reality" itself. "The Unknown" brought to light what it is like to experience a dis-orienting experience where 'life doesn't make sense. The Unknown gave a sense of what life would be like if one lost partial memory and had to "live with it".
Memory or the brain's recording or experience is not the "whole story". Memories have to be itnerpreted to be meaningful, but when some information is "lost" and one is left to interpret without all the 'facts", then what? This made for a great movie.
Go see it. You won't be disappointed!
Humans live from memory. We learn our language and remember the right words to even communicate with others when we grow up. What if we couldn't remember our words? This was not the case in "The Unknown", as his memory of important emotional facts was intact, but some of the other facts were forgotten due to an accident. Due to the "missing links", he is living in "limbo" land, not able to understand many things happening to him. How does he interpret them?
Whenever humans don't have a grasp on reality, such that they can find security, they find themselves anxious. Anxiety is the state of "not knowing", or fearing that which "might come". Why would this anxiety have any hold on a human being? When experiences continue to confound and there is no rationale for what is happening, humans become anxious about their futures. A "state of peace" or psychologial security is the result of learning about "cause and effects". Behaviors are conditioned by "causes and effects". But, "sometimes the "causes and effects" are not straightforward "laws of nature". These have damaging effects on the psyche. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder could be the result and might have a disorienting effect on the personality.
Humans must have some sense of control about thier life to maintain a sense of dignity and personal orientation about "reality" itself. "The Unknown" brought to light what it is like to experience a dis-orienting experience where 'life doesn't make sense. The Unknown gave a sense of what life would be like if one lost partial memory and had to "live with it".
Memory or the brain's recording or experience is not the "whole story". Memories have to be itnerpreted to be meaningful, but when some information is "lost" and one is left to interpret without all the 'facts", then what? This made for a great movie.
Go see it. You won't be disappointed!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Correction of Consequtialism and Utility
Just a short correction to a former post.
Consequtialism is focused on consequences, not "ends". Utility is focused on "ends".
Consequentialism is a form of responsibility for outcomes, while utility is the focus of what is desired as ends.
What is desired sometimes can be dependent on hedonism while other times it is evaluated on virtue.
I think consequentialism cannot be "fair" in the real world, because how do we determine who is responsible for what, or when a society has agreed upon certain actions, or choices? Is leadership then, to be held solely accountable to such choices, that have consequences on others?
As to utility, hedonism should not be an ultimate end in life, but virtue is hard to define or form for another, unless the society values personal choice as to value. Otherwise, utlity ends up being a way to force a particular "form" of virtue upon another. This is a form of co-erciveness in the name of "character training"!
Virtue has to be understood within the context of the individual's values and choice and not an outside "form". Virtue is about innate gifting and development, not controlling another's "outcome". The "outcome" will result whenever there is a focus on the person and their particular personal choice of "ends".
Consequtialism is focused on consequences, not "ends". Utility is focused on "ends".
Consequentialism is a form of responsibility for outcomes, while utility is the focus of what is desired as ends.
What is desired sometimes can be dependent on hedonism while other times it is evaluated on virtue.
I think consequentialism cannot be "fair" in the real world, because how do we determine who is responsible for what, or when a society has agreed upon certain actions, or choices? Is leadership then, to be held solely accountable to such choices, that have consequences on others?
As to utility, hedonism should not be an ultimate end in life, but virtue is hard to define or form for another, unless the society values personal choice as to value. Otherwise, utlity ends up being a way to force a particular "form" of virtue upon another. This is a form of co-erciveness in the name of "character training"!
Virtue has to be understood within the context of the individual's values and choice and not an outside "form". Virtue is about innate gifting and development, not controlling another's "outcome". The "outcome" will result whenever there is a focus on the person and their particular personal choice of "ends".
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Character is More Than Behavior
Character is more than behavior. Although much can be assessed by a person's behavior, one cannot dismiss the innate nature that dwells within the individual. This innate nature is also character. And different characters have different strengths and weaknesses.
Character is personality. Is someone extrinsically motivated. That is, are these "social beings"? Or is the nature of a particular individual more internally motivated? "He is a enthusiastic person"; "She loves to discuss ideas"; " He loves to work with his hands"; "She likes to have people over for dinner". These aspects of personality cannot be disregarded when considering what type of character one has.
Innate nature does not change, (unless there has been an overcompensation from a "past"), but how that nature expresses itself may. People grow, discover new interests, and change their desires throughout their lives. Someone must know someone well, to understand a person deeply. And this sometimes takes years, Some people are never known deeply, as one must be open to be known.
Character is personality. Is someone extrinsically motivated. That is, are these "social beings"? Or is the nature of a particular individual more internally motivated? "He is a enthusiastic person"; "She loves to discuss ideas"; " He loves to work with his hands"; "She likes to have people over for dinner". These aspects of personality cannot be disregarded when considering what type of character one has.
Innate nature does not change, (unless there has been an overcompensation from a "past"), but how that nature expresses itself may. People grow, discover new interests, and change their desires throughout their lives. Someone must know someone well, to understand a person deeply. And this sometimes takes years, Some people are never known deeply, as one must be open to be known.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Personalities, Friendship and Hospitality
Just last evening two friends dropped in unexpectedly. I loved that they decided to do so, as it "says" a couple of things to me that I think are important. They thought that they would be "welcome" and my heart would be "open". It is nice that they thought so "highly" of me, besides the fact that they wanted to see me. It was a nice visit, as I hadn't seen one of them in a year. We needed to share the events in our lives. The visit got me thinking about the friends and family we saw in Europe and it made me smile.....over the differences in personalities and in how they showed their hospitality!
One friend, Fritz, is so outgoing that he greeted me with a bear hug, continued squeezing my arms as he kissed me on each side of the face three times and told me "how beautiful I was"! I told my husband that that would not be a bad greeting ever so often :)! He is a friend of my husband's since before junior high days and they were part of a motocycle "club" of their own making. Soon after arriving, Fritz took us to "scout out" his local town. He treated us to ice cream and we went back to meet his daughter, Iris. Iris has just graduated from high school and was to take her examinations to enter Cambridge to study English and literature. She wants to teach in Japan. She loves Japanese culture and hopes to meet a Japanese man. It was a delight to talk with her. She has made an impact on her father, as well. Fritz has taken an interest in her interest of reading and it was interesting to share their "experiences" in reading around the dinner table. Trus, Fritz's wife, had made lasagna, in honor of our upcoming trip to Italy.
We visited Chris in his Swiss chalet overlooking the Alps! We had heard about this chalet for over 30 years, as Chris was my husband's room-mate while getting their Ph.Ds. He teaches Physics 3 days a week in the French-speaking side of Switzerland, although he was brought up in the Italian speaking side. But, he spoke Swiss German to his sister, who we also met, after hearing of her for many years! I had to grin as I watched the two of them discuss "metaphysics". It was like old times, as if time hadn't passed at all. But, then, my husband started abruptly speaking Dutch! I sat there not knowing if Chris understood everything or not. He was cooking "sheep meet" over an open fire. When I interrupted my husband to ask if he was aware of his change of language, we all laughed. We were blessed as we awoke the next morning to a sliding glass door view of the snow covered Alps with evergreens all around! The chalet sits at one of the highest passes in the Swiss Alps! It was breath-taking. When I mentioned how beautiful the view was and why anyone would want to save that room as the guest room, Chris' sister, Ursala, said that she had given her room to us! I was touched.
When we arrove back from Italy, we went to see another old friend from my husband's motorcyle club, Aad. He and his wife talked about European politics, business, and our children. They took us to a charming local resturant and we were grateful for their picking up the tab. It is so interesting to get another side of the story in political/cultural/social issues and these friends have always obliged us with good conversation and stimulating discussion.
My husband's family was no less hospitable. We stayed while in the Netherlands with his sister and brother in law. They had just moved into a high rise, and tho they had less space than usual, but made space for us. They travelled with us throughout Italy and we enjoyed their company. Rob tends to sing in the morning, as he is a morning person. The rest of us are not! But, I always had to smile when I heard him in a nearby shower stall singing away. We have a family joke about Rob's singing a "Fa" (a brand name soap and shower products) song while we camped as a family with them in France many years ago.
Even though we experienced many hospitable people throughout our time in Europe, I was most touched by my husband's graciousness as we travelled back through Germany to the Netherlands. We stopped at a nice hotel outside of Rottenburg off the "Romantic Road". We had stopped in Rottenburg about 19 years ago, when my husband attended a conference in southern Germany. He had wanted to "experience" this again with me, and reminisce, as well a express his gratitude for my "living" in a pup tent and cooking over a camp stove for the past three weeks while travelling in Italy. I was hungry, so he wanted to accompany me to the hotel's resturant, where the view would have taken anyone's breath away. But, because he had not been feeling well and had had a high fever for a few nights, I insisted that he not sit with me. We resolved the problem with room service. So, I enjoyed a nice meal while watching CNN. My husband slept. This is normal for my "tender" husband. And it showed his open heart towards me. I was blessed.
So, our trip to Europe this time was a double blessing, as we got to visit in the individual homes, instead of meet in a "pub". And we delighted over each person's unique way of expressing their hospitality. I loved it and them.
One friend, Fritz, is so outgoing that he greeted me with a bear hug, continued squeezing my arms as he kissed me on each side of the face three times and told me "how beautiful I was"! I told my husband that that would not be a bad greeting ever so often :)! He is a friend of my husband's since before junior high days and they were part of a motocycle "club" of their own making. Soon after arriving, Fritz took us to "scout out" his local town. He treated us to ice cream and we went back to meet his daughter, Iris. Iris has just graduated from high school and was to take her examinations to enter Cambridge to study English and literature. She wants to teach in Japan. She loves Japanese culture and hopes to meet a Japanese man. It was a delight to talk with her. She has made an impact on her father, as well. Fritz has taken an interest in her interest of reading and it was interesting to share their "experiences" in reading around the dinner table. Trus, Fritz's wife, had made lasagna, in honor of our upcoming trip to Italy.
We visited Chris in his Swiss chalet overlooking the Alps! We had heard about this chalet for over 30 years, as Chris was my husband's room-mate while getting their Ph.Ds. He teaches Physics 3 days a week in the French-speaking side of Switzerland, although he was brought up in the Italian speaking side. But, he spoke Swiss German to his sister, who we also met, after hearing of her for many years! I had to grin as I watched the two of them discuss "metaphysics". It was like old times, as if time hadn't passed at all. But, then, my husband started abruptly speaking Dutch! I sat there not knowing if Chris understood everything or not. He was cooking "sheep meet" over an open fire. When I interrupted my husband to ask if he was aware of his change of language, we all laughed. We were blessed as we awoke the next morning to a sliding glass door view of the snow covered Alps with evergreens all around! The chalet sits at one of the highest passes in the Swiss Alps! It was breath-taking. When I mentioned how beautiful the view was and why anyone would want to save that room as the guest room, Chris' sister, Ursala, said that she had given her room to us! I was touched.
When we arrove back from Italy, we went to see another old friend from my husband's motorcyle club, Aad. He and his wife talked about European politics, business, and our children. They took us to a charming local resturant and we were grateful for their picking up the tab. It is so interesting to get another side of the story in political/cultural/social issues and these friends have always obliged us with good conversation and stimulating discussion.
My husband's family was no less hospitable. We stayed while in the Netherlands with his sister and brother in law. They had just moved into a high rise, and tho they had less space than usual, but made space for us. They travelled with us throughout Italy and we enjoyed their company. Rob tends to sing in the morning, as he is a morning person. The rest of us are not! But, I always had to smile when I heard him in a nearby shower stall singing away. We have a family joke about Rob's singing a "Fa" (a brand name soap and shower products) song while we camped as a family with them in France many years ago.
Even though we experienced many hospitable people throughout our time in Europe, I was most touched by my husband's graciousness as we travelled back through Germany to the Netherlands. We stopped at a nice hotel outside of Rottenburg off the "Romantic Road". We had stopped in Rottenburg about 19 years ago, when my husband attended a conference in southern Germany. He had wanted to "experience" this again with me, and reminisce, as well a express his gratitude for my "living" in a pup tent and cooking over a camp stove for the past three weeks while travelling in Italy. I was hungry, so he wanted to accompany me to the hotel's resturant, where the view would have taken anyone's breath away. But, because he had not been feeling well and had had a high fever for a few nights, I insisted that he not sit with me. We resolved the problem with room service. So, I enjoyed a nice meal while watching CNN. My husband slept. This is normal for my "tender" husband. And it showed his open heart towards me. I was blessed.
So, our trip to Europe this time was a double blessing, as we got to visit in the individual homes, instead of meet in a "pub". And we delighted over each person's unique way of expressing their hospitality. I loved it and them.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Have You Ever Wondered
Today we arrived in the Netherlands to visit my husband's family. It has influnenced who he is, but I wonder how much it has influenced him really? I can see both similarities to his family of origin and dissimilarities. This is quite normal and is why neuroscience is investigating how much of our "selves" is written on our brains. I have wondered about personality and how much is innate and how much is formed. I am sure that most have thought about these things.
Personality has little to do with spirituality, in fact, spirituality can hinder personal growth as much as further personal growth, because of the conforming demands of religion in understanding of religious teaching.
Theology is about what we cannot know, as it is about a transcendent realm, that is, unless we view man, as God's point of reference. What is man to be like? Man can develop irregardless of spiritual connection, or religious commitment.
So, I am wondering if religious commitment and spirituality is a hinderance to man's development. For if man does something because of something outside himself, then what kind of person is he, really? A person must have their individual conviction and commitment to those convictions if he is to attain what he is to become. But, that takes knowing oneself and staying true to what one values.
Personality has little to do with spirituality, in fact, spirituality can hinder personal growth as much as further personal growth, because of the conforming demands of religion in understanding of religious teaching.
Theology is about what we cannot know, as it is about a transcendent realm, that is, unless we view man, as God's point of reference. What is man to be like? Man can develop irregardless of spiritual connection, or religious commitment.
So, I am wondering if religious commitment and spirituality is a hinderance to man's development. For if man does something because of something outside himself, then what kind of person is he, really? A person must have their individual conviction and commitment to those convictions if he is to attain what he is to become. But, that takes knowing oneself and staying true to what one values.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Freedom Comes From Self- Knowledge
A philosopher once said that an unexamined life is a life not worth living. I think this is a truth that is pertinant for today. This afternoon, my son in law, whose degree is in psychology, gave us a personality test. I had taken this test before and it didn't "sit well" with me, as far as the results. It just didn't seem like it "fit' or was comfortable. I asked the tester back then, if stress or extenuating circumstances would affect the answers and therefore the results. I know now, that it does.
After taking the test, and reading the results, I felt relieved and "okay". I am a "General". My childern all agreed that this was who I was/am. I had been thinking that there was a "perfect" or "ideal" Christian. That is NOT so...and it is freeing to know that how I am, is what I am supposed to be. Religion is very deforming, in its conforming stance, and demanding "change" because one is not "perfect" or "ideal" like Jesus.
Religion can be a form of mental illness, I think. It hinders self-acceptance, and creates another reality, instead of dealing with the real, and pertinent. It seeks to attain something that is alien to the natural person, some spiritual sense or spirituality that is not based in the 'real world".
So, on this Mother's Day, it is okay that children are not my "ideal goal". And as I wrote before, I don't care about politically correct things, and many times I don't care about religiously correct things. If that is okay with you, then maybe we can be friends. Otherwise, we must go our separate ways. No guilt, as Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways and that seemed okay for the writers of "your authority".
After taking the test, and reading the results, I felt relieved and "okay". I am a "General". My childern all agreed that this was who I was/am. I had been thinking that there was a "perfect" or "ideal" Christian. That is NOT so...and it is freeing to know that how I am, is what I am supposed to be. Religion is very deforming, in its conforming stance, and demanding "change" because one is not "perfect" or "ideal" like Jesus.
Religion can be a form of mental illness, I think. It hinders self-acceptance, and creates another reality, instead of dealing with the real, and pertinent. It seeks to attain something that is alien to the natural person, some spiritual sense or spirituality that is not based in the 'real world".
So, on this Mother's Day, it is okay that children are not my "ideal goal". And as I wrote before, I don't care about politically correct things, and many times I don't care about religiously correct things. If that is okay with you, then maybe we can be friends. Otherwise, we must go our separate ways. No guilt, as Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways and that seemed okay for the writers of "your authority".
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Painting Our Walls With Ungrounded "Hope"
These past two weeks, my son has been painting our walls. It is so refreshing to have nice clean freshly painted walls to begin spring. As I was thinking this morning about what it meant to me...these freshly painted walls, I started thinking about how we often paint over our own walls to the detriment of the "cracks". What do I mean?
Life has many "bumps" in the road and humans were meant for a certain environment. This enviornment gives the essentials of life, physically and psychologically. The family is the first and most important "group" the child will encounter. And that encounter has a lot to do with "cracks", but is not the lone reason.
Neuroscience is beginning to understand our brain and how the brain determines so much in the individual person. Psyhological science has various theories about personality, identity, personhood, etc. These sciences, as well as sociological science, define the development of the child, or person.
Humans all have "cracks" as we live in an imperfect world. These 'cracks" are what are met in religious identifications. They help us cope with life, when life seems to be incomprehensible. These "stories" grew up in the communitie's imagination to help the community to define itself within a larger context and to give meaning and value to life.
Religious experience is the emotional/psychological and physical response to stimuli that "fills in the cracks" with meaning. Religion gives a "reason" "why", so that those who suffer under their "cracked walls" can begin "anew".
But, what about "painting over the cracks"? Painting over cracks is what I would term "re-creating" the person, into a "spiritual image". This spiritual image is an image that is the "ideal", whereas he "real person", the "cracked person", is de-valued and dismissed. The problem with "covering over the cracks" is multi-faceted, as it affects everything from what you choose about life, the clothes you wear, to the way you bring your children up.
Religious identity can be damning and damaging to oneself and others. Why? because it never addresses the "real issues" but helps one to cope, cover over and deny "cracks". Cracks are part of being human and should not be denied, but embraced, as part of a person's "real history" and "real pain". These "cracks" cannot be healed without acknowledgement, confession, and understanding. And real change cannot be made if there is no accountability.
Religious cultures are breeding grounds for shame, which are unhealthy ways of social control. A human should never be subjected to humiliation, and shame because of some religious standard that denies the "cracks in humanity's face. Forgiveness is not "cheap grace", but a struggle to understand, deal with anger, admit the pain, and eventually decide response.
Many addiction counselors understand that humans use many substances to cover over pain. But, most people do not admit that religion is just as addictive, as any drug and it can be harder to alleviate because of a sense of "doing god's will" and "being righteous". This is an addiction of personality and it consumes the person under a subversive message of "self denial".
People that have "cracks "and can't admit it for fear of shame are those who live in self-denial through the messages they tell themselves, as well as the acts they perform. We should never "paint over our cracks", as it makes for terrible looking walls.
Life has many "bumps" in the road and humans were meant for a certain environment. This enviornment gives the essentials of life, physically and psychologically. The family is the first and most important "group" the child will encounter. And that encounter has a lot to do with "cracks", but is not the lone reason.
Neuroscience is beginning to understand our brain and how the brain determines so much in the individual person. Psyhological science has various theories about personality, identity, personhood, etc. These sciences, as well as sociological science, define the development of the child, or person.
Humans all have "cracks" as we live in an imperfect world. These 'cracks" are what are met in religious identifications. They help us cope with life, when life seems to be incomprehensible. These "stories" grew up in the communitie's imagination to help the community to define itself within a larger context and to give meaning and value to life.
Religious experience is the emotional/psychological and physical response to stimuli that "fills in the cracks" with meaning. Religion gives a "reason" "why", so that those who suffer under their "cracked walls" can begin "anew".
But, what about "painting over the cracks"? Painting over cracks is what I would term "re-creating" the person, into a "spiritual image". This spiritual image is an image that is the "ideal", whereas he "real person", the "cracked person", is de-valued and dismissed. The problem with "covering over the cracks" is multi-faceted, as it affects everything from what you choose about life, the clothes you wear, to the way you bring your children up.
Religious identity can be damning and damaging to oneself and others. Why? because it never addresses the "real issues" but helps one to cope, cover over and deny "cracks". Cracks are part of being human and should not be denied, but embraced, as part of a person's "real history" and "real pain". These "cracks" cannot be healed without acknowledgement, confession, and understanding. And real change cannot be made if there is no accountability.
Religious cultures are breeding grounds for shame, which are unhealthy ways of social control. A human should never be subjected to humiliation, and shame because of some religious standard that denies the "cracks in humanity's face. Forgiveness is not "cheap grace", but a struggle to understand, deal with anger, admit the pain, and eventually decide response.
Many addiction counselors understand that humans use many substances to cover over pain. But, most people do not admit that religion is just as addictive, as any drug and it can be harder to alleviate because of a sense of "doing god's will" and "being righteous". This is an addiction of personality and it consumes the person under a subversive message of "self denial".
People that have "cracks "and can't admit it for fear of shame are those who live in self-denial through the messages they tell themselves, as well as the acts they perform. We should never "paint over our cracks", as it makes for terrible looking walls.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I Will Be A Biblical Christian "Till My Cows Come Home"!
I am to learn in quiet submission. Anyone that knows me, knows that I can't learn in quiet submission. I must ask questions, extrapolate, investigate, and verbalize.
I feel sorry for those who have had classes with me. I really try to hold my hand in my lap, but find it rising without my notice, as I'm too busy looking, listening and thinking, trying to put things together. I can't stand to have things in my mind not connected. I wish it were more desirous to be "ordered" in my own home! Oh, now I think I remember that that was another gauge as to a "biblical woman".
I am thankful for a patient husband and wonder if he would talk more, if I didn't. Sometimes, when I've tried not to talk to see if he'd talk more, he just enjoys the peace and quiet.
I know, I know that the Bible says that women should be quiet in church and have a meek and quiet spirit. This is something I'm working on, but haven't made much progress. I guess some of us are just born more spiritually blessed, than others! (Oops, there goes my envy gauge! What's a girl to do?)
Once when I first started this blog, I'd set up a questionaire that asked if I should stop writing and low, and behold, someone, the only one that responded checked that box! But, I didn't let that deter me, as I knew that I had to write. It is therapy for me. And besides, they didn't have to read my blog anyway. I believe in "freedom of speech"! So I have continued to write and it gives me pleasure. Is that sin?
Just today, I led a discussion in a class on our sources of authority. And I found the class talking about politics. When I apologized, one of the students said that the class was supposed to be related to faith in society. That was a relief!
I had a professor one time that kept saying "biblical Christian" and calling me one. I told my husband I didn't know what he meant, as weren't all Christians biblical. I didn't know that there are many kinds of Christians.
So, in conclusion, I have decided that I am not, nor will I ever be, nor do I want to be a "biblical Christian" whatever that means.
P.S. I don't have any cows....
I feel sorry for those who have had classes with me. I really try to hold my hand in my lap, but find it rising without my notice, as I'm too busy looking, listening and thinking, trying to put things together. I can't stand to have things in my mind not connected. I wish it were more desirous to be "ordered" in my own home! Oh, now I think I remember that that was another gauge as to a "biblical woman".
I am thankful for a patient husband and wonder if he would talk more, if I didn't. Sometimes, when I've tried not to talk to see if he'd talk more, he just enjoys the peace and quiet.
I know, I know that the Bible says that women should be quiet in church and have a meek and quiet spirit. This is something I'm working on, but haven't made much progress. I guess some of us are just born more spiritually blessed, than others! (Oops, there goes my envy gauge! What's a girl to do?)
Once when I first started this blog, I'd set up a questionaire that asked if I should stop writing and low, and behold, someone, the only one that responded checked that box! But, I didn't let that deter me, as I knew that I had to write. It is therapy for me. And besides, they didn't have to read my blog anyway. I believe in "freedom of speech"! So I have continued to write and it gives me pleasure. Is that sin?
Just today, I led a discussion in a class on our sources of authority. And I found the class talking about politics. When I apologized, one of the students said that the class was supposed to be related to faith in society. That was a relief!
I had a professor one time that kept saying "biblical Christian" and calling me one. I told my husband I didn't know what he meant, as weren't all Christians biblical. I didn't know that there are many kinds of Christians.
So, in conclusion, I have decided that I am not, nor will I ever be, nor do I want to be a "biblical Christian" whatever that means.
P.S. I don't have any cows....
Monday, January 12, 2009
New Information on Happiness and How Life and Liberty Intersect
Today, in my e-mail, it was reported in The Happiness Journal that doing volunteer work, alturistic service, etc. made children happier than organized religion, such as prayer, attending church, etc.. Although the e-mail was not detailed, I wondered how they assessed their "subjects". And I wondered if this was the wisdom of the "kingdom of God" that Jesus spoke about...
Is spirituality the utmost goal of a human being? Or is ethical formation in one's duties and responsibilities? One is based on a transcendent Being superintending life and the circumstances of life, while the other view understands man's duty to man, without regard to the supernatural.
The question for me concerning the spiritual aspect is; Is spirituality based on "feeling" rather than organized religion being based on reason? Psychologists deal with personality, as well as behavior. So, my question would be why would a ENFP be understood as "childish" in their spirituality, while a "ISTJ" would be understood as reasonable?
Some years ago I took a personality test and asked the counselor if the results would be skewed because of life events or stressors. She agreed that they could. And it has proven to be true, as my personality type "changed". I have always wondered about their validity anyway.
On the behavior side, was habit formation, such as Kant's duty bound ethics, and the categorical imperative a variable in assessing children? As this would be understood to be discipline for the training of children and in opposition to spirituality? Or is the universal beyond the childish imagination?
And in regards to children and adults, wouldn't an adult have their values clarified enought to decide for themselves what they would be committed to...Does duty come before desire, or is desire something that should be trained and honed? I think duty is religion's law, whereas, desire is art's hope or vision of life purpose.
Again, motivation is also an element to consider when addressing the behavior of subjects. What motivates one person to respond to a need, and another not? What worldviews benefit man's responsible nature, or is there a nature that needs to be trained toward responsiblity? Whether there is an innate responsible nature or not, what hinders or distorts it's development?
All these questions interface the moral, ethical, psychological, spiritual realms that intersect man made in God's image! I don't know the answers, does anyone else?
Is spirituality the utmost goal of a human being? Or is ethical formation in one's duties and responsibilities? One is based on a transcendent Being superintending life and the circumstances of life, while the other view understands man's duty to man, without regard to the supernatural.
The question for me concerning the spiritual aspect is; Is spirituality based on "feeling" rather than organized religion being based on reason? Psychologists deal with personality, as well as behavior. So, my question would be why would a ENFP be understood as "childish" in their spirituality, while a "ISTJ" would be understood as reasonable?
Some years ago I took a personality test and asked the counselor if the results would be skewed because of life events or stressors. She agreed that they could. And it has proven to be true, as my personality type "changed". I have always wondered about their validity anyway.
On the behavior side, was habit formation, such as Kant's duty bound ethics, and the categorical imperative a variable in assessing children? As this would be understood to be discipline for the training of children and in opposition to spirituality? Or is the universal beyond the childish imagination?
And in regards to children and adults, wouldn't an adult have their values clarified enought to decide for themselves what they would be committed to...Does duty come before desire, or is desire something that should be trained and honed? I think duty is religion's law, whereas, desire is art's hope or vision of life purpose.
Again, motivation is also an element to consider when addressing the behavior of subjects. What motivates one person to respond to a need, and another not? What worldviews benefit man's responsible nature, or is there a nature that needs to be trained toward responsiblity? Whether there is an innate responsible nature or not, what hinders or distorts it's development?
All these questions interface the moral, ethical, psychological, spiritual realms that intersect man made in God's image! I don't know the answers, does anyone else?
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