RE-Review on "Inception"

I have to continue my analysis of "Inception", because of what I left out. The "anti-realist" view of "Inception" is a "thought experiment". Ideas breed thoughts that "bloom" in the mind. And my mind "blooms" many thoughts :)!

The main character's father had been the initiator of the "anti-realist" position to his son. But, he had found that his son had become "stuck" over the guilt and responsibility of his wife's mental instability and resulting suicide. The father pleaded for his son to leave "this world", a created one, and come to the "real world" where sanity could be restored. When the effort failed, the father introduced his son to a bright and promising student. This student was to continue the "tradition" of "creating worlds"....

The student soon became aware that there was a hinderance on the part of her mentor. The teacher was stuck and she sought to find out what had hindered him in his ability to "enter" the world of the other without interference of his own "baggage". The student's own journey could not be continued without letting the teacher go, as he had to work through his own issues. The impact on the real world of "his creation" could not be recognized or acknowledged, as he became obessessed with getting back to his children and the real world that they lived in. His fear of separation from them had led him to his bondage and he punished himself by creating the prison of his own mind. 

This is the real world of "self punitive" behavior when one has not forgiven oneself for past indiscretions. Acknowledgment of one's limitations and failures is part of maturing and coming to terms with reality, which is what the "old man" represented in the end.

Humans have a great capacity to deny their "real worlds" for the "worlds" they create and inhabit. These "worlds" are walls of prisions that won't surrender their victims until the victim takes the responsibility without demanding perfection of himself. The "ideal" hinders growth, liberty and an ability to embrace life with its complexity, joys, sorrows, fears, hopes and dreams. These realities are what life is made of and for. Without entering life, there is no hope for entering another's life, not really, because life will always be about accomplishment, success, or perfection which hinders the ability to see, understand and grasp the real world of another life.

On Forgiveness....

Today in my e-mail, I noticed on a Science and Religion newmail that research had been done on forgiveness. It talked about how there was a decision making process to forgive before one could experience the emotional feeling and health benefits. It also covered various ways forgiveness is manifested toward self, other and God. (Apologies to the one who did the research, but it seems like a overly simplistic view on forgiveness, although I understand that the newsmail could not ever cover all of the information that the researcher uncovered or evaluated. I am only responding to what was stated.)

Forgiveness cannot be demanded by another, (this was affirmed in this newsmail ), as forgiveness was an experience of offering, seeking and reconciling. Forgiveness is not something that is sought for any other reason than the relationship, otherwise, it is predatory. So, reconcilliation is not possible in all circumstances.

I have qualms about certain aspects of generalized suppositions about forgiveness and reconcilliation. Although I can forgive my rapist, I will not trust him and until he has spent time building that trust (that is, if he wants a relationship to me), then, I would be foolish to pursue any type of relationship. So, forgiveness does not mean reconcillation, or that the relationship will be restored. In fact, unhealthy relationships are numerous because of forgiveness being absolutized as the epitome of character, while dismissing the offenses of the predator. Forgiveness can only happen in these situations when the offended feels "safe".

Forgiveness can only be offered to those we trust, so the offender cannot manipulate or demand it from us. Why is this so? Forgiveness means that someone has been wronged and if the offender does not recognize his offence, then, he does not recognize the damage. The offender cannot seek forgiveness for something he has no recognition of. This is when it is necessary to work through the issues, but allow the other "to be". Do not try to have a relationship with such persons, as it is an excercise in futility. Some people will not have the capacity to understand how you understood or took their offending behavior. And others don't care, because they don't value the relationship to you. Move on. Do not think that it is you fault. Many predators love to manipulate their prey into responding out of guilt.

I believe that the Christian community, as a whole, has an unhealthy view of forgiveness. Forgiveness means that there is no consequence in or to the relationship. I believe that relationship is only granted to those who value the person enough to want to make amends. But, the people involved must determine how that will be worked out. Sometimes outsiders mean well, but can exasperate the problem and make one or ther other feel defensive and unsafe. This will never breed an environment of acceptance.

If the relationship has gotten to the 'point of no return", then there are legal ways to rectify the injustice. Divorce is always an option for the victims of damage and devastation. There is no need to put youself or you children or others you love into harm's way.

Today's world is filled with the need for countries and people to be "reconcilled". This term rolls off the tongue of evangelicals without understanding the full implication or impact of what they are saying. The greviances are deep and historical. There is no simple solution in asking for forgiveness, turning the other cheek or making a decision to rectify the situation. Both or all parties involved have to be reconcilled. And in the world of politics there are many duplicities, and inconsistancies to count, much less to rectify. Forgiveness must be a personal term, while reconcilliation is an "ideal" and imaginary one.

Peace is an "ideal" that will never come as long as "God" is useful to justify actions that disadvantage, dominate, and demean another, while seeking promotion for oneself. And I really wonder, since all of us are so short-sighted and limited in our understanding if peace is even a value that can be held realistically in this world.

I Would Do It the Same Way Again..

Time is curious, as it seems to have no consitency in our perception. Sometimes time seems to fly and other times, time stands still. But, nevertheless, time moves one whether we percieve it to or not. Time makes many of us wiser and this is the topic of discussion today.

Wisdom comes with age, they say, because life has a way of teaching you about "life". Many of us learn and grow as we are stretched or enlarged by our formal or informal educational opprotunities. But, when I look back over my life, I cannot regret. Why?

If I went back, I would be the person I was, not the person I am, now. And because I would've been that same person, I would've responded in the same way I did back then. We can never go back. But, we can learn to grow through our mistakes and learn from them. This is wisdom.

So, today, grace is about forgiving oneself, even more so, because we must be understanding of the other as well. Otherwise, we become hardened and narrow and bent on correcting another's wrong, without understanding that we ahve make mistakes, too.

Painting Our Walls With Ungrounded "Hope"

These past two weeks, my son has been painting our walls. It is so refreshing to have nice clean freshly painted walls to begin spring. As I was thinking this morning about what it meant to me...these freshly painted walls, I started thinking about how we often paint over our own walls to the detriment of the "cracks". What do I mean?

Life has many "bumps" in the road and humans were meant for a certain environment. This enviornment gives the essentials of life, physically and psychologically. The family is the first and most important "group" the child will encounter. And that encounter has a lot to do with "cracks", but is not the lone reason.

Neuroscience is beginning to understand our brain and how the brain determines so much in the individual person. Psyhological science has various theories about personality, identity, personhood, etc. These sciences, as well as sociological science, define the development of the child, or person.

Humans all have "cracks" as we live in an imperfect world. These 'cracks" are what are met in religious identifications. They help us cope with life, when life seems to be incomprehensible. These "stories" grew up in the communitie's imagination to help the community to define itself within a larger context and to give meaning and value to life.

Religious experience is the emotional/psychological and physical response to stimuli that "fills in the cracks" with meaning. Religion gives a "reason" "why", so that those who suffer under their "cracked walls" can begin "anew".

But, what about "painting over the cracks"? Painting over cracks is what I would term "re-creating" the person, into a "spiritual image". This spiritual image is an image that is the "ideal", whereas he "real person", the "cracked person", is de-valued and dismissed. The problem with "covering over the cracks" is multi-faceted, as it affects everything from what you choose about life, the clothes you wear, to the way you bring your children up.

Religious identity can be damning and damaging to oneself and others. Why? because it never addresses the "real issues" but helps one to cope, cover over and deny "cracks". Cracks are part of being human and should not be denied, but embraced, as part of a person's "real history" and "real pain". These "cracks" cannot be healed without acknowledgement, confession, and understanding. And real change cannot be made if there is no accountability.

Religious cultures are breeding grounds for shame, which are unhealthy ways of social control. A human should never be subjected to humiliation, and shame because of some religious standard that denies the "cracks in humanity's face. Forgiveness is not "cheap grace", but a struggle to understand, deal with anger, admit the pain, and eventually decide response.

Many addiction counselors understand that humans use many substances to cover over pain. But, most people do not admit that religion is just as addictive, as any drug and it can be harder to alleviate because of a sense of "doing god's will" and "being righteous". This is an addiction of personality and it consumes the person under a subversive message of "self denial".

People that have "cracks "and can't admit it for fear of shame are those who live in self-denial through the messages they tell themselves, as well as the acts they perform. We should never "paint over our cracks", as it makes for terrible looking walls.

An Apology for Those Who Have Suffered the Effects of Suicide

I must apologize. I should have known and been more sensitive. But, we all ignore some things that are right in front of us, in light of something that we are focusing on...

Ten years ago this past May, my brother committed suicide. It traumatized me and took me a long time to "get over". I'm still not over it, in the sense that it changed forever how I view God's intervention in life. And it has become a call for me to take responsibiltiy for myself. While obviously I do and have believed that social structures do influence our lives, they should not determine our lives, unless we choose for them to have that power.

Depression, though, can take its toil on motivation, and perserverance to overcome the limitations that have been place upon us from the outside. And some drug interventions do not help but exasperate the problem. My brother was on Prozac.

So, for anyone that has experienced a suicide in their extended "community", please forgive me for possibly putting any more "burden" and guilt on you than you already struggle with...You are ultimately not responsible, and even to the extent that you are, you must learn to forgive yourself and learn from it. Healing will take different people different amounts of time, so be patient and do not compare.

And please, if there is a need to talk to a 'friend", I am more than willing to be the annonomous one that has walked somewhat in your shoes.