What Are You Afraid Of?

I am sure that anyone who knows me, knows that I do not want to be controlled, as I value freedom. But, doesn't everyone value freedom? If we allow others the same freedom we would want, we do to them as we would want done to ourselves. This is fultilling the Golden Rule.

But, some are fearful that if they do not control others, then they will not "fulfill" their ultimate purpose(s). These have depended on others to carry out their "vision". While others are necessary to carry out any plan that is greater than "self-improvement", people have to co-operate, which means that they must believe in the "vision" and are committed to helping carry out the vision.

One of the signs of a great leader is inspiring others, not just initially, but when the going gets tough, to hang in there and not "bail out". But, leaders should always be open to new information or input from others, as those who are affected bythe vision should have a "voice" in their "life choices" and commitments. Good leaders are not offended or angry over criticism, as they desire to get a broader picture of the problem, so encouraging as many voices as possible is desired and really necessary. The more voices that are heard, the more likely problems will be alleviated.

Fear can be alleviated by information, as everyone grasps their "part" as they have committed to "vision". Our liberal democracy allows many avenues to fulfill one's duty, life purpose, or "vision". So, in our liberal democracy there should be no fear, but fear itself.

Personal Identity, Group Attachment and Abuse

In our local paper, one of the leaders at our university, states that "respect is yours, have it"! This is important news, because the context is a local domestic violence organization called "Hands of Hope". The abused need to know that they can have hope beyond the definitions that their abusor have given them. Hope is inspired when the heart is strenghtened with encouragement and empowerment.

Why is respect necessary to break free of abusive systems? Self respect is negated in environments that teach dependence or group mentality. Psychologists say this is an unhealthy attachment, because personal identity ceases to exist in such environments. The group defines what is right for the individual. The individual is negated because the individual has no choice about the matter. They are to obey and submit to what the system designs and desires.

A system is organizational structuring and is not wrong, in and of itself. But, if the system is not focused on giving freedom to individuals, but defining them, then the system ceases to be a healthy one. Cultures define individuals, but are not necessarily unhealthy, unless they take away the right of the individual to freely choose and determine their own life. Children, of course, are defined by their families, but young adults should come to a place where they understand their own person. This is personal identity.

Personal identity is important to develop, as it helps the individual to define their values and commitments. Reason is engaged in this formative stage and can bring about transformation of the person's understanding of themselves, their true values, and their reasons for choosing those values. This is an important stage in coming to terms with life calling. A life calling is not defined by others, only developed. And developing others in thier gifts is a life calling itself!

The Value of Life Calling and a Friend's Daughter

I have a friend whose daughter is in a well known university studying International Relations. This young lady is very bright and gifted in many ways. This past summer she went overseas with the Invisible Children ministry. She had thought about pursuing this course for her career choice, although many other opportunities have been open to her.

The Invisible Children ministry is a valuable mission, but I believe that this young girl's gifts would be limited in usefulness if she pursued this end. She has recently had second thoughts, which I am happy to hear.

So often, young people are idealistic and need time to grow up and understand what life is about and what their highest values are. But, this is not her case.

In a Christian context, shouldn't professors, adminstrators, and student developers seek to develop the student as much as they can, not limiting their potential? A student pursuing a college education that does not use the money, and time invested wisely is a misguided life. Shouldn't every student seek to excel in their given discipline so that excellence is what is considered "Christian"? Or is Christian only viewed as ministry in a certain way and with certain dogma to boot?

I hope that the value of a student's life calling is important enough to the educators, who by their own life investment to education, exemplify excellence, passion, commitment, and scholarship.

An Apology for Those Who Have Suffered the Effects of Suicide

I must apologize. I should have known and been more sensitive. But, we all ignore some things that are right in front of us, in light of something that we are focusing on...

Ten years ago this past May, my brother committed suicide. It traumatized me and took me a long time to "get over". I'm still not over it, in the sense that it changed forever how I view God's intervention in life. And it has become a call for me to take responsibiltiy for myself. While obviously I do and have believed that social structures do influence our lives, they should not determine our lives, unless we choose for them to have that power.

Depression, though, can take its toil on motivation, and perserverance to overcome the limitations that have been place upon us from the outside. And some drug interventions do not help but exasperate the problem. My brother was on Prozac.

So, for anyone that has experienced a suicide in their extended "community", please forgive me for possibly putting any more "burden" and guilt on you than you already struggle with...You are ultimately not responsible, and even to the extent that you are, you must learn to forgive yourself and learn from it. Healing will take different people different amounts of time, so be patient and do not compare.

And please, if there is a need to talk to a 'friend", I am more than willing to be the annonomous one that has walked somewhat in your shoes.