I have come to the conclusion that supernaturalism is "Dead" for me. I cannot believe in God intervening in the affairs of men. There is natrual order, social order and moral order. And this is where I am in regards to re-defining faith.
This morning's sermon was on Abraham, as this is a seris our pastor is presently preaching on. We are heirs according to grace and all are fellow heirs. The equality of the 'brethren" was preached, but I was unmoved. What used to bring me to tears, now has no significance. /The message has lost its meaning and purpose in my life.
Why? Realism. Life has ways of teaching you that what is "ideal" or spiritual is not so "ideal" or "spiritual". There is no distinction between the sacred and secular. But, there are better or worse people in the scope of things and better and worse ways to live and be in the world. And what sort of people should we be, if this is the case? And what is the significance of the natural, social and moral orders in life? And how are they understood? And what values are important and why? These are the quesitons I am and have been asking myself.
My faith is not in "Jesus Blood and Righteousness".
Nor is my faith built on a "solid rock".
I want my faith to be built on reason, not some historical/mythological figure from the past nor on a mystery cult.
And I don't want my faith to be built upon some "supernatural revelation" that is deemed to have "dropped from the sky" without grappling with the messiness of politics.
Right now, there is a song that is playing that brings to mind the stuggle of the Jews during the Holocost. I don't know why it always brings up that image for me, but it draws my heart and emotions to the "human condition". The human condition of struggle of existence.
Have you ever seen a painting that resonates with "life"? Or heard a poem that left you burning inside?
These are the things that make for "worship", because these are beautiful things in the world that speak of questions that are unanswerable.
Yes, there is much "dirt" in the world. There is much that needs cleaning up from political corruption, to natural disasters. But, there is Still beauty in the world, and if we cease to see that, then we have lost our true and real sense of "life" and beauty. Beauty is as much a part of the world as degradation.
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Psalm 46
15 hours ago
1 comment:
Hi, Angie. Stumbled upon your blog from I don't know where. Sounds like you may be about my age and season of life. My youngest just graduated from high school and went to Germany for a year. I have older children and one grandson, too. I have been going through a slow, painful deconstruction of supernatural faith for about three years. Once the scales fell off my eyes, I could no longer believe the story of a god who would curse humanity for 6,000 years for the sin of being born, nor a god who requires death and blood for justice. The world makes much more sense when I don't have to force reality through a cognitive dissonance filter. This leaves me at odds with my family and the church I've been a part of for 15 years. My priorities are 180 deg opposed to theirs. They are strangers and aliens in this world, waiting to get taken away forever to some static, eternal bliss that makes no sense to me. And the only reason they care about other people is to make them projects for enlisting them for heaven. Don't they see that they're letting death get the glory?
I think the time, energy, resources being squandered on this fantasy amounts to the biggest crime to humanity. So I've devoted every waking hour to being at home on earth, content to live this life as if it's the only one, with more care and attention to doing what I can to meet immediate needs in my community.
I wrote a song once when I still believed, revealing the cracks that were beginning to form in the system. It had a line, "we don't really live until we die."
Now it's my mission to remove the "don't," to really live until I die.
I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
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