Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wanting to Be Somebody

I think everyone has dreams as children. But, dreams sometimes are not realistic but idealized self-worship. I think that many, not all, of the Christians I have come in contact with are desirous of making a name for themselves, which I wondered in the past, why they were Christian and wanting to be somebody.

Historically, Christians were nobodies, and even Paul acknowledged this when he said that "not many noble, not many wise, after the flesh" were called, but "he called the vain and foolish to confound the wise". I thought back then that being a nobody, meant that I was a somebody to God and to those in the family of God. I thought that all Christians would also have a "nobody complex" and not be seeking to be "somebody". In fact, ambition was a sure sign of selfishness.

But, then I learned more through experience and education and found out that I had sold out for a "myth", a "self-imagined and desired reality". I had longed to mean something to somebody all my life. I wanted to not be invisible. And I thought I had found out that I "mattered", even when I was unimportant.

Life has a way of maturing us out of our imaginings, whether they be my self deluded specialness, or another's self-grandiose "becoming a somebody".

I got tired of hearing about Leadership and wondered why everyone seemed to be interested and talking about it. I had understood my faith as one to take the low seat, to be humble, be a servant, and turn the other cheek. Every time I practiced my faith, I was bewildered by another's choice of action. It confounded and confused me, as I really thought I knew the "truth". And secretly I judged them as being hypocritical.

I think everyone, whether they had a "nobody complex" like me, or whether they were brought up to "know who they were" and were trained to actualize their potential, wants to be special and somebody. A special somebody are those in you immediate family, your extended family and your friends. And it takes a special somebody to be a special somebody to another special somebody. Take the time to be that special somebody for those you love.

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