Individuation is the "goal" of parenting and the greatest joy is when the child comes to a sense of themselves and where they want to commit their life. This is an important step in realizing Personhood.
Those that compel or co-erce their children into certain forms of expectation do a disservice to the individual child and their gifts to society. I have been guilty of this, thinking that there was only one purpose or goal of good parenting and that was to get my children "saved" or to "behave properly". These were short-sighted goals and hindered their individality and my personl relationship to them.
Fear and a desire to "fit" into religious communities hindered my ability to engage my children and enjoy their diverse interests. Religion can hinder personal growth and goals, because it can limit perspective. The problem for most of the religious is framing their reality by tightly bound identifiers. Reality is really diverse ways of understanding " all that is". But, science can also be guilty of such manipulation. When science is convinced of its theory, science can become just as "biased" in hindering personal growth and diversity.
"Self" is a conscious being where one's reality is conncected to framing reality that parallels one's sense of self-understanding. And self-understanding has to do with one's culture, one's upbringing, one's personal interests, one's past learning experiences, and one's present understanding of reality.
In America, "we are a people" because we believe in individual rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some in America have stagnated our country's unity by polarizing over individuating arenas, faith and reason.
Scientists have faith IN reason, because reason is one's ability to formulate and organize information. This makes humans distinct from other animals. All humans organize and formulate their realities, academic disciplines do so formally. Religion, on the other hand, has faith in faith. Faith is about cultural framing of reality, which includes outward forms of living in the world, in all of its diversity. American embraces both science and faith as valid ways of living in the world. But, today, America is divided by what used to bring about its unity.
Our Founders understood that humans need room to differ as to faith, but the nation needed a way to unify its diversity, as well. Our Constitution is what has brought about America's self-understanding, as each American is equal under law, with a right to petition government and to be innocent until proven guilty and a right to trial by jury. These are rights that protect and validify our nation's "protections' and value of "individuation". We must not undermine our liberties by undermining our laws, which protect Americans and their "way of life".