The "Longings of the Heart" was the title of the last post. Why did I choose such a title? The subject was about a eulogy of a Jewish scholar who'd impacted his students and their eulogies were memorials to his life. He lives on in their lives.
Humans all resonate with beauty, justice, and love. These are universal categories that are made vivid in a particular human frame. The longing of my heart was about the care these students had under thier mentor's tutlelege. Of course, their choice to pursue their speicified interests was what put them in contact with him in the first place. He had represented all of these attributes to them personally in their pursuit of a degree. Such stories resonate within the human heart.
Today, I had an exchange with an Eastern Christian, who said he identified in his particularity to Christ. His identity is defined by Jesus and his life. But, I had understood Paul's message about Jesus' life and Jesus life itself as a universalization (liberalization) of religion itself. Religion defines itself by doctrine/behavior that defines people "outside" or "inside" (us/them). All groups define themselves in this way; families, community groups, ethnic identities, social clubs, professional clubs/guilds and national identifications.
The geopolitical realm is not going to reflect such universalism, because we do define ourselves within our contexts of value. Individuals must discriminate to define themselves. And free societies allow individual to identify in many ways. In psychological terms, it is called individuation.
So, even though I did not know Alan Segal, nor did I read his works in depth, I found myself moved by his life, through those he had touched, he will live "eternally" through his efforts here on earth!
Showing posts with label mentoring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mentoring. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Friday, December 4, 2009
Using Religion
If religious truths are true, then they should be followed by all. But, if religious truths are relative in human devleopment, then they should remain 'in their place". I am no expert, but it seems to me that since there has been research that does not appeal to the religious realm for human developemnt, then religon is an apendage, a periforal, but unnecceary "extra", as there is "no truth but God's truth". There is no "special revelation, only general revelation. And general revelation is not defined necessarily within the relgious "confines" of church and religious community.
Religion gives meaning, defines values and give man an outside source of authority. But, modern man knows that humans develop apart from religion and traditon can be understood in many different ways, as cultural or familial identification factors.
I got an e-mail from a friend today that told me of her struggle ot overcome an abusive religous environment. She talked of moving away and thinking she would never recover. She revealed how protective she and her husband were toward religious environments and religious "purposes". She encouraged me to walk carefully in regard to "belonging to a religious community", or looking for affirmation within that sort of environment. She said that her healing came from outside of religion and the community of faith, from a friend that wasn't connnected to religion. I think she has fully recovered, as she sees things clearly, now.
In her book, "Twisted Scriptures", Mary Alice Chrnalogar, a international recovery counselor of abusive discipleship programs and abusive churches, has many "signposts" that signify an abusive spiritual environment. She develops the history of the discipleship/spiritual mentoring program and shows the ill effects upon the naive and trusting.
I find that most evangelical and all fundamentalist teaching that I have been exposed to, is prone to this sort of abuse. Many do not recover their individual identity and some have break-downs because of authoritarianism, and distorted views of spritiuality. I know many who have experienced such abuse and wonder how many suffer under thei ill-effects of such environments.
This friend's husband also compromised his career because of such "commitments". Commitments that are useful for leadership and their goals, use terms such as: "covenant", "total surrender", "consecration", "full commitment", "wholehearted", "sanctified", and many other such terms. The definitions of these terms, of course, are "understood" best by leadership. And one that wants to be so commited will do whatever the leader requires to be "approved" to have passed the test to recieve the "sanction' of the "special intiation" into the religous community of faith. This is a CULT! GET OUT!
Cults breed undue dependence, and demand obedience, as their authority is derived from God, not man, or so they assert. Cults do not allow independent thinking, critical analysis, or academic development. Such "outside sources" might challenge the 'status quo" that would change the very authoritarian structure, undermining the leaders power and control over others.
Individuals need to find thier unique gifts and interests and follow these. This will be a defense against those that wish to prey upon those who seek outside approval. Everyone should come to a place where they will be settled in 'who they are', as innately gifted and created. And say with me:
"I will be, who I will be, not who some else thinks I should be and I will do what I will do, not what someone else determines for me to do. I will be free."
Religion gives meaning, defines values and give man an outside source of authority. But, modern man knows that humans develop apart from religion and traditon can be understood in many different ways, as cultural or familial identification factors.
I got an e-mail from a friend today that told me of her struggle ot overcome an abusive religous environment. She talked of moving away and thinking she would never recover. She revealed how protective she and her husband were toward religious environments and religious "purposes". She encouraged me to walk carefully in regard to "belonging to a religious community", or looking for affirmation within that sort of environment. She said that her healing came from outside of religion and the community of faith, from a friend that wasn't connnected to religion. I think she has fully recovered, as she sees things clearly, now.
In her book, "Twisted Scriptures", Mary Alice Chrnalogar, a international recovery counselor of abusive discipleship programs and abusive churches, has many "signposts" that signify an abusive spiritual environment. She develops the history of the discipleship/spiritual mentoring program and shows the ill effects upon the naive and trusting.
I find that most evangelical and all fundamentalist teaching that I have been exposed to, is prone to this sort of abuse. Many do not recover their individual identity and some have break-downs because of authoritarianism, and distorted views of spritiuality. I know many who have experienced such abuse and wonder how many suffer under thei ill-effects of such environments.
This friend's husband also compromised his career because of such "commitments". Commitments that are useful for leadership and their goals, use terms such as: "covenant", "total surrender", "consecration", "full commitment", "wholehearted", "sanctified", and many other such terms. The definitions of these terms, of course, are "understood" best by leadership. And one that wants to be so commited will do whatever the leader requires to be "approved" to have passed the test to recieve the "sanction' of the "special intiation" into the religous community of faith. This is a CULT! GET OUT!
Cults breed undue dependence, and demand obedience, as their authority is derived from God, not man, or so they assert. Cults do not allow independent thinking, critical analysis, or academic development. Such "outside sources" might challenge the 'status quo" that would change the very authoritarian structure, undermining the leaders power and control over others.
Individuals need to find thier unique gifts and interests and follow these. This will be a defense against those that wish to prey upon those who seek outside approval. Everyone should come to a place where they will be settled in 'who they are', as innately gifted and created. And say with me:
"I will be, who I will be, not who some else thinks I should be and I will do what I will do, not what someone else determines for me to do. I will be free."
Friday, April 24, 2009
Time Flies...
Today, a former student dropped by with her two children. I haven't seen her in over 5 years, as her little girl is 5! I was delighted to see her, as she was the "same" and yet, different!
I met her 9 years ago. She was pretty insecure. I remember one night when we were having a heated family discussion at the dinner table (a debate), she quietly got up and got her Bible and held it close to her chest. It reminded me of how literally she took the text, as if she was defending her beliefs with her "sword". She felt threatened and uncertain, as each of us challenged the other's views.
Today, she is confident and almost poised. She talked as an equal and it really amazed me what life can do. She is a wonderful young woman and mother.
Many times I think that this is what religion and scripture does. It "empowers" those who think they have "no power". But, it is not living in the "real world", but an imaginary one. And it certainly does not alleviate personal, mental, or personality problems, but covers over them. But, even so, these people are humans that have an ability to come out of their "holes" of confinement.
She told me something that really blessed me. She said that she was so grateful for all the things I taught her. I questioned her, as I abhor "formal mentoring" (like, come look at me and I'll teach you a few things!). I "mentored" her, I guess, by sharing my life and being a 'friend". She saw me as very human. She said that what I told her always stuck with her through these years. Life teaches you and so, relax, as life happens.
That is like saying that the "sky is blue". Life consists of time that flies, and as one views it in hindsight, it has much wisdom.
Tomorrow our youngest son graduates from college. It was just yesterday, or so it seems, that I was hearing him shout, as he closed the door on the way to school, "Bye, Mom!" What a joy.
Our older son is getting married in September and I cannot believe that is is now in his mid-20's. I look at my husband and he doesn't look much older, as he was our son's age when we first met!
My daughter has already been married for 4 years, this June, and now has two children! I can hardly believe she is approaching 30! It reminds me of the song, "Sunrise, Sunset"...quickly go the years.....laden with happiness and tears....when did she get to be a beauty, when did he get to be so tall....seemed like yesterday when they were small!
We will all celebrate tomorrow, and remember that life teaches you. Sometimes, no one understands, unless they have experienced it. Problem is; who is the "formal mentor" who can assuredly say, "look at me, and I'll teach you a few things"? There are mentors all around, if one has eyes to see, and ears to hear!
I met her 9 years ago. She was pretty insecure. I remember one night when we were having a heated family discussion at the dinner table (a debate), she quietly got up and got her Bible and held it close to her chest. It reminded me of how literally she took the text, as if she was defending her beliefs with her "sword". She felt threatened and uncertain, as each of us challenged the other's views.
Today, she is confident and almost poised. She talked as an equal and it really amazed me what life can do. She is a wonderful young woman and mother.
Many times I think that this is what religion and scripture does. It "empowers" those who think they have "no power". But, it is not living in the "real world", but an imaginary one. And it certainly does not alleviate personal, mental, or personality problems, but covers over them. But, even so, these people are humans that have an ability to come out of their "holes" of confinement.
She told me something that really blessed me. She said that she was so grateful for all the things I taught her. I questioned her, as I abhor "formal mentoring" (like, come look at me and I'll teach you a few things!). I "mentored" her, I guess, by sharing my life and being a 'friend". She saw me as very human. She said that what I told her always stuck with her through these years. Life teaches you and so, relax, as life happens.
That is like saying that the "sky is blue". Life consists of time that flies, and as one views it in hindsight, it has much wisdom.
Tomorrow our youngest son graduates from college. It was just yesterday, or so it seems, that I was hearing him shout, as he closed the door on the way to school, "Bye, Mom!" What a joy.
Our older son is getting married in September and I cannot believe that is is now in his mid-20's. I look at my husband and he doesn't look much older, as he was our son's age when we first met!
My daughter has already been married for 4 years, this June, and now has two children! I can hardly believe she is approaching 30! It reminds me of the song, "Sunrise, Sunset"...quickly go the years.....laden with happiness and tears....when did she get to be a beauty, when did he get to be so tall....seemed like yesterday when they were small!
We will all celebrate tomorrow, and remember that life teaches you. Sometimes, no one understands, unless they have experienced it. Problem is; who is the "formal mentor" who can assuredly say, "look at me, and I'll teach you a few things"? There are mentors all around, if one has eyes to see, and ears to hear!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Social Structures, and Physical Persons
Some believe that the body is the only aspect of being a human. While I would never negate the body and it's resulting chemical make-up as influencing a human, social structures also influence the human being.
The social structures which impact the human most is the family, community and society. These are necessary graces that are to grace our lives. But, sometimes these very structures are unhealthy environments for human flourishing.
While I do not believe that there is one way to parent, as parenting is not a science of a universal child (although child psychology is important), parenting is as much about artistic "seeing and hearing" the other, when it comes to the individual needs. No organizational structuring can epitomize the individual child and her or his need.
One thing that has come to preimenance in my thinking is, that individuality cannot be measured in a test tube, but in the family room. Anthropologists and psychologists know that the individual cannot be reduced to the physical realm without doing disservice to understanding the whole person.
A person who is reduced to a label, or prejuidicial agenda, cannot be seen,or known, much less loved. Love is not blind, but sees clearly the faults and chooses to look beyond the fault to the potential, the value, and the heart of another. I find this is what love and loving is about, helping another, not condemning another. Love is not about conformity, but finding uniqueness and valuing that uniquness.
Any ideology reduces the person to conformity, and deforms the person in the process. Therefore, I believe that a person, himself is made in the image of God, not just the organizational structure, or social structure, whether Church or family. True whole mental, spiritual and physical health only comes by being flexible enough to really hear and see the need of the individual. This is what good counselling, a good physician or a good mentor does. S/he does not seek to implement a program on another, but seeks to hold the hand. I find so many times institutionalized religion, cultural standards, or cherished traditions, inhibit the other individual from becoming, and being in the world as he is. Acceptance is of primary importance, as condemnation, standardization only brings confinement, and stress that inhibits full flourishing and functioning...and the Authentic Self cannot become in that kind of environment.
The social structures which impact the human most is the family, community and society. These are necessary graces that are to grace our lives. But, sometimes these very structures are unhealthy environments for human flourishing.
While I do not believe that there is one way to parent, as parenting is not a science of a universal child (although child psychology is important), parenting is as much about artistic "seeing and hearing" the other, when it comes to the individual needs. No organizational structuring can epitomize the individual child and her or his need.
One thing that has come to preimenance in my thinking is, that individuality cannot be measured in a test tube, but in the family room. Anthropologists and psychologists know that the individual cannot be reduced to the physical realm without doing disservice to understanding the whole person.
A person who is reduced to a label, or prejuidicial agenda, cannot be seen,or known, much less loved. Love is not blind, but sees clearly the faults and chooses to look beyond the fault to the potential, the value, and the heart of another. I find this is what love and loving is about, helping another, not condemning another. Love is not about conformity, but finding uniqueness and valuing that uniquness.
Any ideology reduces the person to conformity, and deforms the person in the process. Therefore, I believe that a person, himself is made in the image of God, not just the organizational structure, or social structure, whether Church or family. True whole mental, spiritual and physical health only comes by being flexible enough to really hear and see the need of the individual. This is what good counselling, a good physician or a good mentor does. S/he does not seek to implement a program on another, but seeks to hold the hand. I find so many times institutionalized religion, cultural standards, or cherished traditions, inhibit the other individual from becoming, and being in the world as he is. Acceptance is of primary importance, as condemnation, standardization only brings confinement, and stress that inhibits full flourishing and functioning...and the Authentic Self cannot become in that kind of environment.
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